Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Mass Effect Franchise







































































ARTISTIC INTEGRITY

Armored Core V


Star Trek The Next Generation Echoes From The Past


Over the last year and a half, I've acquired a number of monkeys on my back.  Mass Effect, Ocarina Of Time, and Star Trek TNG "Echoes From The Past" for the Genesis.  This was my first actual attempt at a full playthrough, and I got fairly far into the game, only to call it quits in disgust at the game's infamously poor and labyrinthine mine level.

Well, we're back, and this time IT'S PERSONAL.  This session takes us from the beginning of the game to just before the aforementioned stage.  Marvel at the stupidity of the Romulan advance, the ineptitude of Starfleet Command, and the sheer badassery that is Ensign Ricky.

Note: To avoid confusion, this was actually recorded BEFORE Resident Evil 2.

Bioshock


What is there to say about BioShock that hasn't been said already a million times?  It's the spiritual successor to the System shock franchise, and developed by many of the same people behind the amazing System Shock 2.  It's also a stellar First Person Shooter experience, something I've been CRAVING lately after all of the Survival Horror and sidescrollers I've been doing thus far this year.

Gears Of War 2


[AlchemistiD's Death Count: 032]
(I didn't count the first time with the pillar, since it didn't actually kill Marcus)

I've been feeling like I'm stuck in a rut playthrough wise since the end of Resident Evil 2, so to alleviate that, here's Gears Of War 2 for the 360!  Is is just me, or am I doing a lot of sequels this year?  Mega Man Legends 2, Resident Evil 2, Parasite Eve 2...well heeeeere's another to add to the list.

Gears Of War 2 is a textbook example, alongside others such as Mass Effect 2 and Homeworld 2, of how to properly make a sequel.  Many of the weak points of the previous title have been addressed and improved, the better mechanics of the previous game have been left mostly intact, and the size and scope of the action and plot in GOW2 make the events of the first game seem like just a small skirmish.

Something that still bogs this game down would be the bad squadmate AI, which makes it's return from the original GOW, and is the reason I'm not making the mistake of playing this game on Hardcore like last time.  Never again, Dom...NEVER AGAIN.

Alien Swarm



Resident Evil 2


Parasite Eve 2's first run is finished and a slew of other games played, and now my journey once again brings me into the forsaken patch of earth and shining bastion of corporate incompetence: Raccoon City.

Speaking of journeys, It's been a grueling journey to get this fucking game working.  Between my beat up disks, a hard drive reformat, incompatibility issues, and my own PC rebelling against me with Ad-Aware, words cannot begin to describe the bastard time I've had getting this playthrough off of the ground.  But you can be sure I'm going to try, anyway.  You have been warned, gird yourselves for expletives galore.

I must also apologize, for I know this game quite well.  This playthrough will not be nearly as blind as Resident Evil 3's or Code: Veronica's.  Every time I play Resident Evil 3 is like the first time for me, I love that game so much.  As for Code: Veronica, I think I put a mental block on it every time I finished it.

NOTE: I downloaded Claire's opening cutscene off of the internet, there was too much desync when I was recording.  I faced the same problem with the first Parasite Eve, but it was fixable.  This time it wasn't.  And I'm lazy.  So yeah.

Ace Combat 6


Game number two in my Parasite Eve 2 recovery marathon, Ace Combat 6: Fires Of Liberation for the X-Box 360.  The latest in the console based arm of the venerable air combat series.

I've been wanting to do a playthrough of this game for a long time.  Ace Combat is a kickass flight simulator that's all about the jet porn and causing very large things to blow up.  Don't be fooled by the flight simulator part, though.  Unlike other flight sims, Ace Combat's controls are more like the fast and loose controls of an arcade game.

Take note that this is a replay, and not a straight up playthrough, so Resident Evil 5 rules apply as I've unlocked a hefty number of aircraft, and I aim to use them.  This playlist will be updated on a semi regular basis, as I'll probably need to blow off steam occasionally while recording the epically long playthrough Resident Evil 2 will inevitably turn into.

For now, enjoy my tired ranting. Before you ask, yes, I know the Bandai Namco logo was right there at the beginning, but I wasn't paying attention, and I was tired as hell.  Also I unintentionally make a dick of myself, you have my apologies, Mrs. Overly Mo-Capped Really Nice Creepy Depressing Housewife person.

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers The Movie


Here's more old-school goodness from the Sega Genesis, Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie: The Game: The Playthrough!

Considered by a few to be the best Power Rangers game of all time, and it's not hard to see why.  Frequent Zord battles, tried and true sidescrolling beat-em-up gameplay, and about as close an adaptation of the series soundtrack as you were ever going to get with the Genesis' lackluster sound chip.  This game also has superior sprite work, the Power Rangers look less like steroid abusing monsters, and more like actual humans. 

The game also allows the player to play as pretty much every single ranger up to the end of season 2.  Of course, the obvious thing would be to just play as Tommy the White Ranger...so I didn't do it.  In this playthrough, we pit Adam Park and Jason Lee Scott, former Red Ranger and team leader, against the forces of Ivan Ooze and Lord Zedd (Motherfuckers).

I also try to get some legitimate running commentary going.  Whether I succeeded or not...well, you decide.

I also mispronounced Thuy Trang's name, it's pronounced "Twee" Trang.  I feel like a jerk, now TT_TT.

Someone's already posted a comparison video between the original power rangers and the 2010 version, here's the link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=96ycXlVh3CE

Castle Of Illusion Starring Mickey Mouse


Game number three in my Parasite Eve 2 recovery marathon, Castle Of Illusion for the Genesis, one of the first Genesis games I ever owned.

Yes, I know its a Mickey Mouse game, I was a little kid at the time.  That's also not to say that it doesn't have some dodgy bits here and there.

Apologies for the missed frames, I was recording at 60+ FPS, and yet there still seems to be some missing frames for the boss animations, unfortunate.

Golden Axe


Game number one in my Parasite Eve 2 recovery marathon, Golden Axe for the X-Box Live Arcade, one of the first Genesis games I ever played.

Yuria is probably one of the most kickass fantasy worlds ever, with entire communities of people living on things like giant sapient Turtles to huge Eagles.  The Golden Axe universe doesn't entirely EXIST on a Turtle's back mind you, but I can hardly hold that against them.

Parasite Eve 2


Ask Squaresoft to make a horror game, and Parasite Eve is what you get.  It was a slowly paced methodical RPG based off a japanese horror novel, which rather than focusing on jump scares and claustrophobic environments, portrayed a scenario of a besieged major american city slowly succumbing to a biological menace over a period of several days.  The end result was that much of the horror of Parasite Eve was psychological.  As the game continued and the player thought more and more about the implications and the sometimes seemingly hopeless efforts of the protagonists to defeat the game's antagonist, Eve.

Parasite Eve 2, is what you get when you ask Squaresoft to make a Resident Evil game.  The gameplay of the first game is altered significantly in favor of a more standard survival-horror formula.  The 3D controls of the first game are gone, replaced with RE-style tank controls, item chests, and the trademark nonsensical puzzles Resident Evil is famous for are present and accounted for.  They also completely changed the inventory system.  Which I hate.  Hate.  Hate hate hate.  I hate this game's inventory system.  You'll see what I mean.

Don't take any of this to mean that PE2 is a bad game.  Nothing could be further from the truth, the game sold quite well, and for good reason.  It just has a really shitty inventory system.

Finally, I would like to make it clear that I love this game, even though I pretty much completely destroyed any dramatic impact the intro had here.

Halo Franchise


As of October 2012, profiting in any way from footage of games developed by Microsoft is against the terms of use.  Which means that because I intend to put project wonderful ads on the site, I can't post my playthroughs of the Halo games.  

So Halo Combat Evolved, Halo 2, Halo 3, and Halo 3: ODST can be found on YouTube.

Ballmer can be found losing his goddamn mind.  Windows 8?  IE 10, anyone?

Streets Of Rage


Recorded more or less due to failing sanity, it's one of the first games I ever owned, Streets Of Rage.

Yeah, I'm pretty exhausted right now while I'm typing this, so I'll keep it brief.  Known in Japan as "Bare Knuckle", SOR is a much-beloved beat 'em up from the halcyon days of the 16-Bit era.  The popularity of the title spawned two sequels, the oft praised Streets Of Rage 2, and the generally forgotten Streets of Rage 3.

I used to play this game ALL THE TIME.  Even after getting my first PlayStation, and my copies of Resident Evil 2, Mega Man X4, and Final Fantasy VII/VIII.

There's not much else to say, SOR has a massive fanbase to this day, and a fan remake was made some time ago, which I would heartily recommend to anyone who has never had the opportunity to play old-fashioned beat 'em ups before.

If you can find it, that is.  SEGA put the kibosh on the project almost immediately after it was released, after being aware of it for over eight years.  SEGA are dicks like that, as anyone who loves the old Shining Force games has discovered.

Mega Man Legends 2


Once upon a time, there was a Mega Man game that was different from the others.  The setting was different, the characters had character, the writing was good, and the plot actually interesting.  It played differently than all of the entries that had come before, and it had it's fair share of problems for it.  None of those problems, however, took away from a game experience that was, and still is, one of the most fun outings offered by the venerable PlayStation.

It was also almost completely ignored.  The game took a fair bit of flak for some of the few glaring issues that were present, and it never got as much exposure as it deserved.

And then one day while I was in high school, I picked up an issue of GameFan, and could barely contain my delight that a sequel to one of my favorite games of the PlayStation era was being made.

This is the playthrough of that sequel.

TLOZ Ocarina Of Time


Ladies and gents, welcome to ALCH VERSUS| The Legend Of Zelda: Ocarina Of Time!

Released for the Nintendo 64 in 1998 and widely praised as one of the greatest games of all time, Link's first 3D odessey was every bit worth the praise heaped upon it.  Featuring a slick combat and context command system and sporting a souped up version of the engine that powered Super Mario 64, OOT stands up even against more modern entries such as Twilight Princess, and previous installments like A Link To The Past, as the undisputed king of the TLOZ franchise.

It's also not survival horror...at first, anyways.

Gears Of War


[AlchemistiD's Death Count: 100]
[Times Dom Forced AlchemistiD To Suicide: 001]

Ladies and Gents, it's time for the one game franchise with more homoerotic fan fiction than Kingdom Hearts!  It's Gears Of War!

Join me as I guide walking refrigerator Marcus Fenix and his jarheaded pals through just over an hour of Idiot AI induced agony and game glitches!

Resident Evil 3


Resident Evil 3...probably my favorite out of the entire series.

RE3 drops the player into the boots of Jill Valentine, a former Delta Force operative and one of the only surviving STARS members in Raccoon city.  The other being Brad "Chickenheart" Vickers, Alpha Team's former helicopter pilot, and a legendary coward.  As Jill, the player's ultimate objective is to escape the nightmare Raccoon City has become.

The only problem (aside from the zombies, and the zombie dogs, and the zombie birds, and the loose umbrella creations running amuck) is that the titular "Nemesis", a hulking 9 foot badass freakshow clad in leather and wielding a fucking rocket launcher has been sent into Raccoon by Umbrella to shut up any STARS members unfortunate enough to still be in the city.

That means you.  And this time, running won't help.

The Nemesis is unique among Umbrella's monsters.  It has intelligence.  Escape from a room it occupies and it will pursue you through others.  Unload as much as you want into it's flesh and it will simply shrug everything but your heavyest weapons off like they were nothing.  He is relentless.

So you know where I'm coming from when I say the bastard right scares the shit outta me.  Seriously, the dude gives me nightmares.

And now he'll give them to you!

Mega Man 8


DAMN YOU MEGAMAN 8!!!

Playing Megaman X4 and X5 may have fucked up my 360 controller, but Megaman 8 is the one that finally killed it. 

The, well, eighth entry in the venerable classic Megaman series saw the move to 32-bit graphics and animated FMV's to tell the story of how the nefarious Dr. Wily had been contaminated by evil alien energy from outer space, and of the alien space alien/maverick(sp?) hunter that hunts said evil alien space energy.

If the previous synopsis made any sense to you, what fucking planet do you live on?!

Megaman 8's gameplay differs from the other main series at the time, Megaman X, in that it focuses more on creatively navigating each stage with the powers taken from Wily's robot masters (including later Robot Master ringers Tengu Man and Astro Man, who later would appear in Rockman & Forte), rather than simply barrelling through with busters blazing and X and Zero's (or god help you, Axl's)walljumping acrobatics.

It also differs in that the voice acting is the worst of any entry in the franchise.  Seriously, some of the VO in this game is truly cringe worthy.

Mega Man X5


My controller's journey through hell continues...

While Megaman X4 was a return to the gameplay of Megaman X, Megaman X5 returns to the 'gotta catch 'em all' item hunting antics of Megaman X3. 

X5 is also a significantly better game, go figure.

Megaman X5 was the intended finale of the classic and Megaman X series, with a branching storyline and several possible endings that would link to either the Megaman Legends or (the upcoming) Megaman Zero series.  This game was chock full of references to the classic megaman games, such as the return of Quick Man's stage, and another gooey Demon-type boss (this one called the "Black Devil".)  It was also saw the culmination of several ominous predictions from as far back as X2, such as X and Zero's inevitable one on one battle against each other.

Perhaps the only bad aspect of X5 is that it was, in fact, not the end of the X series.  During X5's development, CAPCOM began development of X6 behind Inafune's back, resulting in a crazed, schizophrenic, badly written plot that retconned all of X5's endings into nonexistance.  Which stung like hell, considering how difficult some parts of X5 can be.

You're not here to read about me bitching about X6, though!

Mega Man X4


The beginning of the end for my poor white 360 controller...

As said above, X4 was one of the first PlayStation games I had ever played (A long time ago, at a Thanksgiving many, many years past at an aunt's house.), and one of the most beloved for me

Megaman X4 was the series' first venture into 32-bit, much like Megaman 8 for the classic series.  It's a fairly bare-bones shooter when compared to it's immediate item hunt happy predessesor, Megaman X3.

There's not much else to say about it here, the place of X4's X game in the overall continuity is mostly incidental, unlike for Zero's game which reveals the red robot's true origins, and the origin of the Maverick Virus.

Other than that, it's more or less a return to the gameplay of the original Megaman X.

Parasite Eve


"The worst foe lies within the self..."

But there's a bitch up at the top of the Chrysler Building that would make you think otherwise.

Ahh Parasite Eve, how do I love thee?  Let me count the ways:

1.) A unique battle system that, while turn based, allows you to run away from and dodge the enemy's attacks rather than have to stand in place and accept your asskicking.
2.) A unique (and easily exploitable) weapons system that allows you to customize your weapon of choice to truly unholy levels of might.
3.) A setting and plot totally unique among JRPG's of the time, that still stands up against the games of this generation.
4.) A lazy, broke-ass, scizophrenic level system that makes attaining level 99 a breeze if you have a few hours, a portable DVD player, and a DVD of Dirty Pair lying around.

But of all the actual complaints I have about Parasite Eve, they can all be summed up in just two words.

Chrysler Building

*twitch*

Four times.  I had to play this game four goddamn times to beat it.  Did I go insane?  That's a roger.

Did I record it happening slowly over the course of this playthrough?  You bet your ass.

Resident Evil 5


Format: Microsoft X-Box 360 [X360]
Developer: Capcom
Release Date: JP March 5 2009, NA March 13 2009, PAL March 13 2009
Ports: None
Fail/Win Level: Low/Average

Resident Evil Code Veronica X


Oh...oh god, no...

Ants...fucking ANTS...and monster phalli...crossdressing nancies and no ammo to fight them...oh god where did this shotgun come from that can't kill anything without a full magazine?!

Claire?  CLAIRE?!  Where's my Grenade Launcher?  WHERE'S MY FUCKING GRENADE LAUNCHER, CLAIRE?!

TYRAAAAAANT!!!!  ALEXIAAAAAAAA!!!!


Oh fuck I'm tripping...tripping badneedsomecaffeineheregimmegimmesomethinggimmesonethingtotakeawaythepainahhaaaaa
aaaahhhhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH


*wakes up*

Holy shit, that was horrible...it was like I was playing Code Veronica X...and there was no ammo...and there were puzzles so deeply layered within puzzles that you couldn't figure out the beginning or end of them...and shotguns that couldn't kill anything without using up a full magazine...and there was never any ammo...and...and...oh, wait.

That all actually happened.

Resident Evil Code: Veronica occupies a curious position.  It get's damn near unanimously hailed as the apex of the Pre-RE4 Resident Evil games, yet upon playing it one may be occasionally hard pressed to figure out why.

I mean, shit, I'm still having trouble figuring that out.

It's not that it's a bad game, but all of the layered fetch quests and the utter lack of any real stores of ammunition at two Military Facilities become tedious at an alarming rate, and before you know it, the luster has worn off.

It also nearly drove me insane.  I know you'll love that.

 Game: Resident Evil: Code Veronica X
Format: Sony Playstation 2 [PS2]
Developer: Capcom
Release Date: JP March 22, 2001\NA August 21, 2001\PAL September 14, 2001.
Ports: Dreamcast, Gamecube

Mega Man Legends


Game: Mega Man Legends (Rockman Dash, JP)
Format: Sony Playstation [PSX]
Release Date: Dec 1997 JP, Aug 1998 NA, Dec 1998 PAL.
Ports: N64, PC, PSP

By far my favorite playthrough, and by far my favorite of the Mega Man franchise, it's Mega Man Legends!

Mega Man Legends was the franchises' first venture into true 3D gameplay, and it was spectacular.  Unfortunately, it was also highly underrated.  Admittedly, the game has it's flaws, such as the lock on system, which swerves from user friendly to actively trying to kill the player at the drop of a hat.

Still, the game remains a stellar experience from beginning to end.

Dino Crisis



Format: Sony Playstation [PSX]
Developer: Capcom
Release Date: Jul 1 1999 JP, Aug 31 1999 NA, Oct 1 1999 PAL.
Ports: Dreamcast, PC

Ahh, Dino Crisis.  You wonderful experiment, you.  How have you been doing?

So, yeah.  This was the third complete playthrough of a game that I did.  And I cheated my ass off.

...No seriously, infinite ammo bitches.  As I said at the end of this playthrough, it's very telling that Dino Crisis 2 was more of a full-on action game where you could amass literally hundreds of rounds of ammunition within the first hour of the game.  I said this because ammo was two things in Dino Crisis;

1.) Nonexistent
2.) Almost Entirely Ineffective

Don't be too proud of that Slag Ammo you picked up for Regina's shotgun, it's useless.  Every single Dinosaur with the sole exception of the groups of Compsognathus you encounter (only about twice) is capable of absorbing amounts of punishment that would make Tony Montana look like a cub scout.

The only ammo worth a damn were Tranq. Rounds and Poison darts, all of which almost always had to be made by sacrificing your health items.  Thanks for that, CAPCOM.

But it's like I said, Dino Crisis was an experiment at reinventing the Resident Evil formula that may not have ended badly per se, but by the end of the game it's problems have been made evident.  The answer, of course, was to make DC2 a more arcade-style shooter, and DC3 was an even bigger departure from the original.

The League Is Set

Last week, the IDL "Cat Signal" went out about the resurrected CISPA legislation.

Please visit these pages and and learn about CISPA, and support the Internet Defense League in killing it once again.

Internet Defense League: http://internetdefenseleague.org/

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Deus Ex



One of the most legendary PC games ever developed, Deus Ex manages to hold up phenomenally today, especially given the gravitation back towards gameplay and visual style over photo realism.  Not to say the game doesn't look good, mods such as New Visions give the game textures a more high def, crisp appearance.

Bottom line, it's past time I LP'ed this gem, and as I was gifted this over the holidays, now's as good a time as any.
But hold onto your butt Alice, 'cause this rabbit hole gets weird.

Monday, March 11, 2013

Blue Shift Review


I actually like Blue Shift far more than Half-Life.  Probably because it didn't overstay its welcome with five sewer levels and two hours of Xen.  Blue Shift manages to be a short but sweet game experience by taking everything that was interesting and fun about the original Half-Life and, for the most part, leaving out the things people hated.  With the exception of one of the biggest problems people had with HL1, Xen.
While nowhere near as long winded as in the original Half-Life, Blue Shift's trip to Xen at the midpoint of the game only highlights the many reasons why it was so deservedly reviled.  A sudden and complete change in how the game physics work will cause confusion in even veteran players of the franchise, and having to relearn how the jump mechanics work and what jumps you can or can't make in the always incredibly platforming heavy Xen landscapes just causes frustration.

Returning to the dilapidated laboratory of Dr. Rosenberg after completing the Xen segment of Blue Shift comes as a massive relief, but for all the wrong reasons.  There's no feeling of urgency to escape from the alien landscape of Xen to the familiar surroundings of Black Mesa out of the kind of unsettling atmosphere that Gearbox or even Valve were clearly going for.  Instead of feeling tense and alone in an intimidating alien place, players simply want to escape the frankly terrible mechanics of Xen and return to the more enjoyable puzzle solving and navigation found throughout Black Mesa.

Combat-wise, Blue Shift suffers all of the classic HL1 problems.  Damage sponge enemies feel unsatisfying and most weapons are laughably useless against the HECU Marines even on medium difficulty.  The various Xen creatures one encounters feel much more satisfying, and weapons feel like they do more reliable damage against them.  Unfortunately, the player spends most of Blue Shift fighting the HECU, which can make the game feel frustrating at points where it really shouldn't.

There are a few points where the game will spawn something behind you, but it never feels nearly as cheap as the original Half-Life's constant teleportation spam of enemies.  What does feel cheap is the placement of headcrabs.  Gearbox has only one note when it comes to headcrabs, if you see a dark hallway, expect at least two if not more headcrabs to come hurtling out of the darkness at you.  They repeat this same tired jumpscare over and over so many times that it eventually just becomes irritating.  They only break from this tactic once during the Xen segment, and that one occasion is in and of itself pretty silly.

While these problems do exist, Blue Shift is so short that they really don't harm the overall experience as much as they do the original Half-Life, which while a killer app in its day, hasn't aged well.  It's interesting to note that many things present in Blue Shift, such as an increased emphasis on environmental interaction and character, eventually became a large part of what made Half-Life 2 so well received after its debut, along with greatly improved combat and no Xen stages at all.

Bottom line, if you're looking for a highlight reel of what made Half-Life 1 so popular back in the day, it's hard to go wrong with Blue Shift.  The game, only lasts for just long enough for you to get what the classic gameplay of HL1 was all about, and doesn't overstay it's welcome like the original could.  Reluctant as I am to say this considering Gearbox's recent incredibly botched offering to/mangling of Aliens canon, I have to give Blue Shift a recommendation.

As an aside, I find it darkly hilarious that both Blue Shift and Colonial Marines feature the protagonist shooting at humans the majority of the time during a massive alien infestation of an expansive faraway facility.  Gearbox may be one note, but they are absolutely dedicated to that one note.

Monday, March 4, 2013

Blue Shift


Half-Life: Blue Shift

It's the new year!  And the first playthrough of 2013 is brought to you by/because of  Mveculous. We begin by arriving late for work and get locked out of our workplace because someone is too stupid to write on a post-it note at their desk, and then find out that the rent-a-cops pull triple duty as both Black Mesa's IT and Engineering departments despite being surrounded by nobel prize nominees.  Possibly also because of Mveculous. 

And then things go terribly wrong releasing untold terror and agony upon thousands of unsuspecting people, because of Randy Pitchford.  Did I mention this was made by Gearbox, now known for incredibly botching two games they claimed to have "saved" and releasing a 60 USD mod for Borderlands 1 disguised as a sequel?

Welcome to the big suck, folks.  It's Half-Life: Blue Shift.